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Apr. 4th, 2007

It was too quiet. Nny prowled through the corridors, brooding. It was easy to ignore it during the day, with all the people he was around these days, but when he was alone it became more apparent. Too quiet. Not that he missed the badgering of his mental menagerie, exactly - although Nailbunny's advice would have been appreciated at times - he just couldn't get rid of the feeling that the silence was hiding something.

He kicked at the wall with a frustrated snarl. Everything was going to shit again, and the only surprising thing was that he'd let himself believe it could be different. Let himself want it to be different. And now he couldn't stop wanting, and Teatime --

Fucking Teatime. With a start, Nny realized that he was close to the Hufflepuff quarters. Teatime's room was near here. He knew where it was, though he'd never been there - despite the fact that they were supposed to be boyfriends.

I wonder if the Sto Harlot bitch has been there.

That settled it. He strode towards the Assassin's room, face set. Even so, he paused before hammering at the door - he didn't want to be here uninvited, he wanted Teatime to want him here, he wanted Teatime to want him like he wanted Teatime --

He rapped on the door.

There was a pause before the door opened. "Oh - hello, Nny." Teatime's boyish face looked momentarily surprised, the real eye slightly wider than usual. But the Jack O'Lantern grin was quickly restored, though, and Nny couldn't help wondering if anyone else would even have noticed the difference. "How can I help you?"

What the fuck kind of question is that? "I wanted to see you."

Before he cold register the movement, Teatime was standing in the corridor in front of Nny, door closed firmly behind him. "I see. Would you like to go to your room, then?"

"I want to go to your room."

"Oh?" Something flickered across the blonde man's face, too subtle for Nny to catch. "And why would that be? I do so like going to your room, you see."

"Because I'm fucking sick of feeling like you're barely tolerating me!"

"And barging your way into my room will help with that?" Nothing in Teatime's cheerful face suggested that the question was meant as anything other than a polite inquiry, but Nny felt another surge of pent-up anger.

"Do you - or don't you - want me to be here?" he grated out.

"Whyever wouldn't I want you to be here?"

"Stop being so FUCKING SLIPPERY!" He felt something snap, an almost audible sensation that he hadn't had in months. He lunged - no knife, but that didn't matter when he had teeth and nails and intimate knowledge of a thousand vulnerable spots racing through his mind in the half second it took him to find himself slamming into the wall.

"That wasn't very nice at all." Teatime's voice came from close behind, breath tickling at his right ear. Nny could feel the prick of a blade against his neck, just close enough to break skin. He could easily slit his throat right now - probably would, at the slightest provocation - but self-preservation had never been something Nny was overly concerned with. He spun, grabbed at Teatime's wrist and tightened his grip until the knife clattered to the ground. He could feel a small trickle of blood down his neck, could see Teatime's face - unsmiling, almost openly surprised - but it all felt unimportant compared to the pure, white-hot rage that was flooding him. With his free hand, Nny grasped Teatime's arm just as the other man kicked at his legs. The two landed in a tangled pile with a??thump, struggling frantically. Neither of them was used to being so well-matched in a fight. Finally they came to a halt, Teatime pinning Nny beneath him, faces a bare inch apart.

Teatime's smile was back.

"I've never fought you before, you know. You're faster than I thought." He sounded almost pleased. But Nny was too far gone to care about Teatime's approval, snarling and kicking. "That's really very silly. I won't be budged." It took a few more minutes of struggling for this to sink. Nny snarled and grew still, body still tense. "Good. I'm glad you've stopped being tiresome. Now, I had thought that we'd been over this, but let's recap. You are mine. Between us, my word is as law. I don't like making you unhappy - but I really would prefer you to stay out of my room. So why don't we stick to things that make us both happy?"

A moment of disbelieving silence. And then - something, some flurry of movement that Nny was only very distantly aware of making and Teatime was sprawled on the ground and when had he stood up? He was breathing hard, but not from exertion. The knife that Teatime had pulled on him was in his hand, his own blood not quite dry; he was standing further away than might have been expected.

"I - you - what the FUCK was that supposed to mean?"

Teatime picked himself up with uncharacteristic slowness. Normally, Nny would have recognized this as being rather ominous. But he was too angry.

"I was trying to be nice. You may have noticed that I've been perfectly civil during this entire - conversation. Unlike you. You have attacked me twice and been terribly unkind." His eye was twitching slightly. "Aren't we friends? I should hate to loose another one, you see."

"Jesus - I just want to know what the fuck you MEAN! You use these words and you smile these smiles and they never mean what I think, they never mean what they're supposed to! They shift and change and twist and I should have stopped this, I should have froze this before things started to change, before it stopped being perfect, before it started fucking hurting just like everything else -" At some point, he'd started stalking towards Teatime, knife poised.

Not that Teatime moved. His only reaction was the rather thoughtful look that had stolen across his mismatched features. "You think that I'm being unclear." A step forward.

Nny frowned. He wasn't used to people moving towards him when he was like this. It was enough to make him slow down a little, but the knife was still at the ready. "Yes."

"You think I don't want you to be my friend any more."

"Yes." They were close now, close enough to touch. Nny felt disgusted at how much he wanted to close that gap. "And 'friend', I'm your 'friend', what the hell is that supposed to mean, none of it makes any fucking --"

He flinched as Teatime touched his wrist. It wasn't a gentle touch, at least - somehow that would have been worse. It was tight and painful and when he finally dropped the knife Teatime kicked it out of the way, smiling jovially. "What would you like it to mean? Oh, I'm sorry - those sorts of answers do infuriate you, don't they?" Another thoughtful look. "You want me to want to be with you."


This time, when Teatime traced a finger down his cheek, Nny managed not to jump.

"And somehow it isn't enough for me to do things for you. You need to... reciprocate. To prove that I like you." He shook his head, politely puzzled. "I don't quite understand that, Nny, but I'm sure we can let it slide." The blond man took another step forward. And another. And another, until Nny found himself backed up against the stone wall opposite Teatime's room.

"I just-- ah!" Nny's explanation was cut short by a small, involuntary gasp. Teatime was kissing his neck. He's never... has he ever done this before...? He'd moved his hand from Nny's wrist to balance himself against the wall; they weren't touching anywhere else, just Teatime's lips and teeth and tongue against Nny's neck and it wasn't long before he was unable to focus on anything else.

Teatime was considering the situation. It was rather a tricky one he'd got himself into, and he'd hoped that it wouldn't go this way; but, well, that couldn't be helped now. It would be a shame to let it end like this. Nny was his friend, and such a useful one - killing him would be a silly move altogether. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to do this one thing. If it would appease him. He sucked at Nny's neck, grazing the skin with his teeth (careful, of course, to avoid the small cut he'd made). Perhaps this could be useful after all.

His own body was beginning to react: an expected change, but still rather... silly? Inconvenient? Oh, well. Such things couldn't be helped, and it did feel rather nice. A small nip, and Nny tried to writhe up against him; but he pushed him back down, continuing to work on his neck. Was that a hint of annoyance? Oh, well, they had been fighting. And he really didn't like being pressed like this.

Nny was trembling with the effort of not getting closer to Teatime. But Teatime was touching him, was kissing him, and God he didn't want him to stop and if this was all he had to do... And Teatime had started kissing him. That had to mean something, didn't it? It was more than just being tolerated, more than... just the empty clanging of bodies, more than a pity fuck - wasn't it?

It stopped as abruptly as it had began. "Hi!" Teatime beamed. "All better now?"

"I... I want to..." Nny cursed himself. He thought he'd finished with this: the cringing, the shyness, the pathetic-ness of it all. But now it looked like he had a chance to make things perfect again, and if he spoiled it... He tried to clear his head. "I still want you."

"Of course."

Nny shivered. He was still trapped between Teatime's arms, not-quite-touching, and the warmth of Teatime's body so close was maddening."I - you - you'll let me...?"

A moment's hesitation. "Very well."

Oh, God... Nny sagged against him, relieved beyond belief. "I want you to like this," he whispered in Teatime's ear. He wormed a hand under his shirt and ran his nails down the blond man's back. "I want to make you shiver, make you gasp..." With his free hand he began to work on Teatime's shirt buttons, kissing and biting at each patch of newly exposed skin, becoming rougher and more feverish as he travelled downwards. He was at Teatime's navel when he finally elicited a sharp gasp. "I think... you might want to lean against the wall..."

"If you say so." In a moment they had switched positions, Teatime at the wall, Nny on his knees in front of him. It was almost too much, really; he'd wanted this for so long now, and wanting things always lead to them going wrong... He undid the fly slowly. He'd never done this before - but he could always take his lead from what he liked. A long, slow lick before he took him in his mouth.

It was impossible to see Teatime's face, but he could imagine. The image of Teatime, sweat beading on his forehead, flushed and gasping under his touch, had visited him rather a lot in the past months. And now he could taste him, feel him trembling, hear his breath catching... He sped up. Teatime was reacting to him, finally, and it was intoxicating.

This is - ngk - so silly... Teatime wondered if these activities always made it so difficult to concentrate. It was nice, of course - very nice - he'd never doubted that. Who would have thought that - ah - something so silly, so nonsensical, could make someone react like this? Still, he had known it would be nice.

But that wasn't the point.

He was making strange little noises, half words under his breath, and that didn't make any sense either. Oh, dear. It would be awful if he'd let himself do this for no reason. Hopefully Nny would be a little less problematic from now on --

Almost involuntarily he grabbed Nny's hair, bucking upwards. It would have taken too much effort to stop himself from giggling, so he didn't bother; after all, he was making enough silly noises at it was. He wondered if Nny would mind terribly. But his friend continued (he wasn't sure if this was pleasing or annoying) and he could feel pleasure building up almost painfully, making his toes curl and his thoughts scatter. Part of him insisted that he didn't really want this; it was simply something he was doing to gain a little more control over his friend.

Another part of him, he noticed vaguely, was rocking into Nny's mouth almost frantically. How embarrassing. Nny wouldn't mind, would he? He was his dearest friend, after all. And he'd wanted this. It wouldn't make any sense for him to complain.

One last incoherent noise and Teatime came, resting his back against the wall. Nny stood up. I wonder what he thinks of the taste, Teatime thought, and giggled breathlessly.

"Was it... alright?" Nny asked. He wiped his mouth, looking anxious, and wrapped his arms loosely around Teatime's waist.

"It was nice. I don't think I should like to do that again for some time, though, I'm afraid."

"But why not?" He was murmuring close to his ear, and Teatime didn't mind at all; he was feeling awfully relaxed, and it was nice to have someone to lean against. "I could make you feel like that whenever you liked. I want to. I want to make you happy."

Oh, dear - he'd hoped that this would make him less persistent, not more so. Perhaps it was simply habit. It would be well to show that there were no hard feelings from their earlier fight, so he kissed him, smiling lightly. "I simply don't think I'll feel like it for a while. Perhaps we could go back to your room? I'm feeling rather sleepy, you see. And I'm sure you'd like a brainfreezy, to get rid of the taste."

"Okay. If you like. I like it when you sleep at mine."

"Then I shall." They moved off together, looking almost like a normal couple.